Feeling Like I’m Not Enough
I wander along the road in the desert, feeling off-kilter and slightly out-of-sorts. Maybe my feelings of discontent come from wondering if I have enough. Will I have enough time to fit everything into the day, enough money to pay my taxes, and enough patience with my spring-fever-filled students?
I long for assurance that I will make it through this quarter, that I will have enough to meet my needs, that the hummingbirds will actually return, that my dreams will one day come to fruition. As I walk along, no birdsong relieves the silence. After scanning the saguaros with my binoculars, I clamp them under my arm.
When the birds seem far away and uncooperative, I have learned that something else always catches my attention. Not five minutes later it happens. The cactus blossoms blend in to the surrounds so much that I almost miss them. Their pale green petals protrude discreetly from the end of the thorny branches.
As the light dims even more and the sun threatens to set before I reach my destination, I snap a few photos. Suddenly, as if the almost-missed flowers acted as a key unlocking my vision, I see hundreds of tiny flowers.
Tomorrow I will return in the early morning and discover all I can—only next time I’ll bring my macro lens.
And I do. This time, the golden rays of sunlight illuminate tiny, thumb-sized daisies, and the little flecks of yellow cloaked within the purple milkwort. Peace fills me as I drop to the ground and see how closely I can focus without a tripod. The faint perfume of an unseen flower wafts by on the gentle breeze.
The Hidden Secrets of Creation are Enough
Who cares that no rare bird will flit into my vision today? I have desert flowers in the springtime and a lens that reveals the care of my creator in every single element of nature. My inner bubble of delight forces the what ifs to slough off me like a snake shedding its skin.
The feeling of delight lingers with me throughout the rest of the day as we visit a butterfly pavilion and botanical gardens. The hairy detail of a butterfly’s wing jumps into focus under my lens. I discover hidden fields of flowers at the center of each blossom.
Feelings of inadequacy, ineptitude, and irritation have no room in a life of praising God. He is enough—I don’t have to even try. I only need to praise him.Feelings of inadequacy, ineptitude, and irritation have no room in a life of praising God. #BGBG2 Click To Tweet
Q4U: What do you do when you’re feeling inadequate and as if you’re not enough?
Make sure you drop by #InspireMeMonday’s other hostess over at Blessed (but Stressed)!