Anita Ojeda I’m one of those people who wants to fix everything. But sometimes, I can’t fix anything. Today is one of those days.
This post is part of the Five-Minute Friday quick write hosted by Kate Moutang. Join us each Thursday night on Twitter (#FMFParty) for fun and fellowship, then grab a pen and start writing when the prompt goes live!
When You Can’t Fix Coronavirus
Day 10 of COVID quarantine, and I need to fix my worn-out attitude. Normally, I bop along with a pretty even temperament. But COVID sapped my physical strength and drug my emotional endurance down along with it.
Uncertainties seem more uncertain. Will we have to close the school for two weeks and send all the kids home? Should we ditch our plan to have a spring vacation and just power through for another super semester? How many staff members have colds and not COVID? Do the kids who say they have symptoms actually have real symptoms, or just imagined ones?
I wake up feeling fine each morning and try to get back into my regular routine of exercise. But by lunchtime, I fall into bed exhausted. By 7:30 at night I can’t keep my eyes open. This physical exhaustion makes every. little. thing. seem like a big deal.
My tolerance for changes turns up intolerant. I struggled to finish a book and then I struggled to write a kind book review. The main character seemed narcissistic and whiney. When I finished, I felt like an exhausted therapist.
Maybe COVID has brought out nine months of uncertainties and paraded each one through my subconscious over and over again. Twenty-twenty was not an easy year. Not for economic reasons, but more for relational revelations.
How can I fix my worn-out attitude and regain my equilibrium?
The Only True Fix
I only know of one way. If I fix my eyes on Jesus, the pioneer, and perfector of my faith (Hebrews 12:2), my worn-out attitude will start to look pathetic and narcissistic. Things that seemed impossible and made me whiney ten minutes ago take on a different cast when I fix my eyes on Jesus.
I find comfort knowing he has promised me the strength to accomplish the seemingly impossible. God promises to give strength to the weary and power to the weak (Isaiah 40:29). If I fix my mind on Jesus and not on the impossibilities and my human limitations, my worn-out attitude starts to matter less.
Fixing my eyes on Jesus takes an act of faith. A choice to remain calm and let Jesus carry on. An admission that I can’t fix my own problems in any other way than fixing my eyes on the One who can.
They say I need new attitude
‘stead of that which I have brung;
they don’t like my happy mood
and prefer that I were glum,
for cancer is quite serious,
a deathly deadly thing,
and so they are imprerious
in calling me to sing
the blues that surely will reflect
the pain that’s in my heart,
but the sad song’s main effect
is something like a fart
to this grinning cheerful man,
the defining grace of ‘hooligan’.
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser recently posted…Tell Me What You Feel
May God continue to be with you as you fight the good fight!
Anita Ojeda recently posted…Why Everyone Should Read One of the Good Ones
I so relate to all you are saying. I love the way you write and put things to get the message across. God bless and I pray as you lean into God you will feel your spirit lift. God bless. – Loretta your fmf neighbour #4 x
Sorry you’ve had to deal with the consequences of covid. Thanks for your thoughts and for the reminder to fix our eyes on Jesus when it seems we can’t go on.
Thanks for stopping by, Steven :). I appreciate your kind words.
Anita Ojeda recently posted…Do Your Academic Self-Care Goals Need an After-Action Review Now?
Thank you for your kind words, Loretta :). I’m doing a lot of fixing my eyes today and I feel better already!
Anita Ojeda recently posted…SCH 035 Five Self-Care Hacks to Help You Foster a Growth Mindset
I am so sorry you have been under the weather, Anita. It truly is so discouraging for educators in so many ways. But you have said it well >>> “Fixing my eyes on Jesus takes an act of faith.” May faith rise up in each one of us to fix our eyes and stay the course!
My little dose of writing reminded me where to fix my eyes. I’m feeling better today and am glad to be back in class!
Anita Ojeda recently posted…How Fresh Ideas Can Change Your Perspective and Make You Stronger
Oh my – I LOVE this so much! It DOES take an act of faith to fix our eyes on Jesus. Sorry you’re in quarantine. I will be praying for you!
THank, Deanna :). I’m out of quarantine now and free to roam about the country.
Anita Ojeda recently posted…Spine-Chilling Suspense Spanning Continents and Eras
Perfectly put.
Susan Shipe recently posted…Five Minute Friday: Fix
Thanks for stopping by!
Anita Ojeda recently posted…Why Everyone Should Read One of the Good Ones
Glad to see in the comments you are out of quarentine and are able to roam. FIxing our eyes on Jesus steadies us in the storms of life that is for sure!
“Fixing my eyes on Jesus takes an act of faith. A choice to remain calm and let Jesus carry on. ” I need the reminder. I am a fixer. I recognize what has shaped that behavior but letting go is hard. And I understand your exhaustion. As a sub, I experience only a taste of what you have been through. Teachers are heroes!
I think we all could use a tune up from our messed up attitude!! 🙂
Yessss to this!!!! When we FIX our eyes on Jesus, everything changes. Thanks for sharing!!! FMF#40
Amen Anita, I love this. SO wonderfully spoken.Blessings.
Visiting from FMF#12
Paula Short recently posted…Five Minute Friday; Word Prompt {Fix}
I’ve been reading of the many post-Covid issues that people are experiencing, including brain fog. I admire you for carrying on despite it all and being such a beacon of light to so many. God bless you.
CorinneRodrigues recently posted…The Wisdom To Know What To Fix
Fix your eyes on Jesus, yes. Also know that there is so much grace for the bad attitude that comes along with any illness. Even when you’re feeling salty and don’t have your eyes on Christ, His eyes remain on you, and He loves you so. Praying for you today!
I’m exhausted from the constant changes that have come my way since covid-19 shut down the world almost 11 months ago. It has been a struggle to maintain an attitude of gratitude…but I must do just that! Every day is a new opportunity to love others with the heart of Jesus.
Barb Hegreberg recently posted…Fix – Five Minute Friday #3