I’m a Stand-in Mom for Other Mothers

A Stand-in Mom for Other Mothers

Before I married, I used to think I wanted to marry a man with the last name of Baker and have 13 children. Instead, I married a man named Ojeda and we decided early on that as teachers, we could only afford two children.

These days my refrigerator holds certificates and graduation announcements from my kids from other mothers. After teaching for close to 30 years, I have a lot of children.

Sure, Pedro and I had two daughters of our own, and now we have a son-in-love and a grandson. A year or so from now, we’ll acquire another son-in-love and our nest will have none of our own fledglings.

But as long as I teach I’ll have fledglings who need a mom. Sometimes, they need me to pray with them. Other times, I cut their hair, fix rips in their jeans and caps, or teach them how to cook. When they come over to eat for faculty families, I ask about their days and gently remind them not to eat dessert until the host or hostess sits down.

At a recent meal, one of ‘my boys’ saw me take a bite of a taco and exclaimed, “Mom, I thought you were vegetarian!”

My other boys laughed and said, “That’s vegetarian taco meat.” We never suffer from dull moments around our table. Sometimes I wonder where my kids learn more—my classroom or my dining room.

My Kids’ Legacy

Facebook has reunited me with kids I had back when I first started teaching—making me feel a bit ancient as I see their children graduate from high school and start college. Sometimes, a former student will contact me (usually through Facebook) and thank me for something I taught him or her.

I realize that I am NOT the real mom—I serve as a surrogate and mentor for kids away from home. The lessons I’ve learned from my own children stand me in good stead when dealing with other people’s kids.
• Do overs make life easier.
• Learn when to parent and when to mentor.
• Praise the product; encourage the child.
• Pray without ceasing.
• Trust that they will choose to do right.
• Expect great things.
• My phone is always on and my door is always open.

The joy of teaching lies in the long-term relationships I’ve developed over the years. I have learned so much from my kids:
• Compassion for the misfits.
• Corny jokes can brighten someone’s day.
• Courage isn’t easy, but it’s always worth it.
• Determination to succeed against the odds.
• We all just want people to accept us for who we are.
• We pretty much act like people expect us to.

Not My Plan, but His

I had no intention of teaching middle school and high school back when I started college. Or when I finished. When I won a scholarship to get my bilingual-bicultural teaching credential, I accepted it because I had no other opportunities.

Of course, God knew what I needed to do to grow into the person he knew I could become. So while we could never afford to have more than two children of our own, God has blessed us with hundreds of children over the years. Which goes to prove that when we allow God to work in our lives, he might send us in unexpected directions—with undreamed of results. I wouldn’t have it any other way.