purposeMorning Discontent

When I woke up this morning, I felt bleh. I made sure to spend an extra amount of time in my gratitude journal, praising God for everything. “Thank you for the tulips that push their way through the hard soil in February. Thank you for the rain. I praise you for the sunset last night.”

And then I confessed to God that I felt bleh. Frustrated because I still struggle to know my purpose in life. Yeah, I have a big picture purpose of serving God by serving others. But all too often I get caught up in the minutiae of life. I have goals and aspirations, plans and checklists of things I’d like to achieve.

And these things keep me from drifting—you know, like the rails at the bowling ally. You’d think that after having lived fifty years, I’d have life all figured out. I teach, and I love my students. But sometimes I feel as if my heart isn’t engaged in my profession.

I feel as if I have gifts that God wants me to develop and use—so I develop them, but don’t know how to use them. And so I praise him in the time of preparation, when nothing seems clear. I struggle with discontent (I have so much—to express discontent feels like I’m tossing coffee in God’s face).

I'm learning how to praise God in the preparation. #BGBG2 Click To Tweet

Heavenly Head SlapFeel like you've lost your purpose? How to find it! http://wp.me/p7W1vk-bv

And then I saw tonight’s prompt. Purpose. Still feeling drifty and not quite sure what to write, I did a Bible Gateway search and came across John 14:28.

You’ve heard me tell you, ‘I’m going away, and I’m coming back.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I’m on my way to the Father because the Father is the goal and purpose of my life.”

Occasionally, I need a heavenly head slap. My word for the year is hunger. God has a sense of humor. When I forget my word, he laughingly points it out to me. My purpose? To hunger after God—like Jesus, I want the Father as my goal and purpose.

If I remember that, everything else will fall into place.

What about you? What’s your purpose?


  1. I love that. “Heavenly Head Slap.” hee hee… Makes me giggle. 😀 I think you and I were thinking along the same lines. My purpose is to glorify God. Let’s strive to reach our purposes together. 🙂

    (visiting from FMF)

  2. Anita, I love this. Over these past couple of weeks, God has been challenging me to stop looking at my shoes, at the minutiae of my day, and look at Him, with anticipation. Yes, He’s given me dreams. But ultimately, my goal and my desire are to glorify Him. In order to do this, I must look toward Him, not toward earth. Great post, friend!
    Jeanne Takenaka recently posted…Purpose: When We Don’t UnderstandMy Profile

  3. A heavenly head slap OR a holy 2 by 4! Either way, God knows how to get our attention. Im glad that you’re still trying to figure out your purpose somedays too!

  4. Love the message, and adore the pictures!

    I never wake up feeling blah any more…just the fact that I’ve woken up – alive – is a kick.

    Besides, I’ve always been woken by Bella The Miracle Dog, it’s 4 am, she needs to go out, and she’s hungry and ready for HER day to begin. (Bella is a 10-lb Toto with a broken back, and that doesn’t slow her down a bit.)
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser recently posted…Your Dying Spouse 279 – The Greatest Gift {FMF}My Profile

  5. heavenly headslap? hmm. i think i like it:) i enjoyed your blog today in spite of a couple of unusually bleh days:( this “cold” seems to be evolving into something worse. i just want it to go away and leave me alone!

  6. It’s incredibly affirming to know someone else has “bleh” days. Like you, I love my students, and seem to be good at instructional coaching and the admin stuff, but my whole heart isn’t there. It’s in writing about and for the heart broken, hopeless kids in my world. Sharing the stories of “the least of these” with whomever will listen. Then the reality of bills and commitments raises its ugly head and snarls at me. My word this year is WAIT. I’m learning to calm down, listen up, and wait for the Lord to unfold His plan and purpose for me a little more while I reason and worry a little less. Blessings and prayers that you will stay hungry and see His purpose become manifest.

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Anita Ojeda

Anita Ojeda juggles writing with teaching high school English and history. When she's not lurking in odd places looking for rare birds, you can find her camping with her kids, adventuring with her husband or mountain biking with her students.

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