purposeMorning Discontent

When I woke up this morning, I felt bleh. I made sure to spend an extra amount of time in my gratitude journal, praising God for everything. “Thank you for the tulips that push their way through the hard soil in February. Thank you for the rain. I praise you for the sunset last night.”

And then I confessed to God that I felt bleh. Frustrated because I still struggle to know my purpose in life. Yeah, I have a big picture purpose of serving God by serving others. But all too often I get caught up in the minutiae of life. I have goals and aspirations, plans and checklists of things I’d like to achieve.

And these things keep me from drifting—you know, like the rails at the bowling ally. You’d think that after having lived fifty years, I’d have life all figured out. I teach, and I love my students. But sometimes I feel as if my heart isn’t engaged in my profession.

I feel as if I have gifts that God wants me to develop and use—so I develop them, but don’t know how to use them. And so I praise him in the time of preparation, when nothing seems clear. I struggle with discontent (I have so much—to express discontent feels like I’m tossing coffee in God’s face).

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Heavenly Head SlapFeel like you've lost your purpose? How to find it! http://wp.me/p7W1vk-bv

And then I saw tonight’s prompt. Purpose. Still feeling drifty and not quite sure what to write, I did a Bible Gateway search and came across John 14:28.

You’ve heard me tell you, ‘I’m going away, and I’m coming back.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I’m on my way to the Father because the Father is the goal and purpose of my life.”

Occasionally, I need a heavenly head slap. My word for the year is hunger. God has a sense of humor. When I forget my word, he laughingly points it out to me. My purpose? To hunger after God—like Jesus, I want the Father as my goal and purpose.

If I remember that, everything else will fall into place.

What about you? What’s your purpose?