A Psalm for NOW! (An Inner Coversation)

So Busy

So many things to do NOW! The end of the semester looms, but ungraded papers weigh my backpack down. The house remains half-decorated for Christmas, but I spent the evening watching the Survivor finale.

Forty people will arrive at my door tomorrow night for the annual staff Christmas party. But first I need to clean the cobwebs out of the windowsills (not the kind one uses for Halloween decorations). I haven’t washed the windows in two years…or more. Maybe I’ll compromise and make sure I remember to scrub the toilets before the guests arrive.

Christmas shopping? Who has time for that! I could use a cash infusion in my bank account right about now. Homemade gifts, maybe? But it seems a little late to make robes and pajamas for everyone with fewer than ten days until Christmas.

Insomnia stalks my nights as I worry about our children, our students, and having to learn how to drive a school bus. Worry pokes holes in the fabric of my day, and I can’t remember important things. For example, did I buy all that I need to make Christmas cookies and fudge for Saturday night’s party?

If I honestly analyze my feelings, I admit that I feel a little paranoid about the new project I had tossed on my desk at work. Will I come across as too bossy? Will people think I have special privileges because I’m the principal’s wife?

I settle my thoughts like whiny kids on the last day of vacation, determined to ignore them for now. Cup of decaf in hand, I lean back in my rocker and open my Bible to Psalm 63.

An Inner Conversation with the Psalm

The words wash over me:

“O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.”

Yes! Those words echo the ache in my heart I hadn’t even identified yet, so I keep reading.

“I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
My lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
And in your name I will lift up my hands.”

Now here’s a promise I can hold on to: When I need help, I have only to lift up my hands in God’s name.

“My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.”

Who needs Christmas cookies and fudge? I can concentrate on singing praise to God and that will satisfy my soul. Tough luck for those craving cookies—maybe we’ll all sing Christmas carols instead.

“On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you;
Your right hand upholds me.”

Ah! I needed to read those words right about now. When sleep eludes me like an overactive toddler, I’ll just lie in bed and think about God’s love for me. I’ll remember all the times he has upheld me in the past, and the thought of singing in bed makes me giggle. What would Pedro think if I busted out in a praise song?

More Than I Need

“They who seek my life will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.
They will be given over to the sword
And become food for jackals.”
But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God’s name will praise him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.”

Yikes! That seems a little harsh, but I get the picture. I don’t need to worry about my critics or the naysayers or the gossips. God will take care of that—I only need to do my part, and I need to do it to his glory.

I close my Bible and glance out at the eastern sky. Clouds hover just above the horizon and the first rays of light tint them purple and pink. I grab my camera and rush outside. Peace warms my heart will the cold wind chills my fingers, but the cold doesn’t matter. The glorious sunrise sings a benediction on my time with God.

Now I know for sure that I have all that I need.