blessingConfession Time

In the effort to practice full disclosure, you should know that I think of myself as a rather selfish person. I get single-minded in my plans and goals. Often, I only want to do something if I can see how it will benefit me in some way. I worry more about the blessing I might receive than blessing other people by showing up.

I don’t enjoy visiting extended family members because I can only see the negative: The interruption of my plans annoys me. Discomfort irritates me (I once spent a week shivering each night at a relative’s because they kept the heat low and only had a sheet on the bed—in December).

I justify my actions based on the hard years of caregiving I have endured. Not a pretty picture I paint of myself.

My own little world of home suits me just fine, thank you very much. If I never had to talk on the phone or move outside of my comfort zone, I would count it a blessing.

Or would I?

Grandchildren Change Things

When our daughter and her husband announced that they’d be moving to Alaska this summer with our only grandchild, I immediately offered to come along. I may have even invited myself to stick around once they arrived. To top it off, I suggested that even more family members gather at the Red Eagle Lodge for an early birthday party for our grandson.

My daughter has a deadline looming, and I figured I could help her out with the baby AND get to spend time with her. So Pedro and I crashed their trip, shared hotel rooms with them, and helped them carry in the eight crates of stuff that they’ll make do with until their belonging arrive in a few weeks. Until then, we use camping chairs, paper plates, and sleeping bags.

I left all of my plans at home. Social media? I jump on every day or so (we’ve used almost all the data in our plan and the month has more days in it). Writing projects? I manage to get a blog post or two up each week. If I hit publish late, no problem.

blessingEvery morning I sit on the floor, snuggling an adorable almost 11-month-old in my lap. We read books. I build block towers and he destroys them. He climbs stairs and I follow behind on my hands and knees.

My daughter writes, my son-in-law catches up on sleep from a stressful school year, and I have conversations that consist of random syllables. “Bah!” is my new favorite word.

Who Blesses Whom?

I thought my great idea would provide a blessing to my daughter and her family. But the bigger blessing has come to me. My grandson’s ‘conversation’ and antics remind me of my daughters when they were young. Only now, I have the time to take delight in every giggle, chortle, and two-tooth grin he produces.

I take delight in the way my daughter interacts with her son—how she builds block towers and screeches to make him laugh. My son-in-law blesses me with his tender care and fierce protectiveness for his family.

Quotidian tasks that irritate me at home have become a blessing as well. I do dishes rather than check my email. Deciding between tweeting or cooking a meal has never been easier. And those hundred of birds in Alaska I’ve never met before? One of these days, I’ll have my chance. For now, I revel in the blessing of focusing on family and not on myself.

Have you ever received a #blessing by serving others and forgetting your own agenda? #fmfparty Click To Tweet