Who would have thought you could feel better if you rethink one little word? I challenge you to ditch should from your life. #should #mood #depression #bossymuch #feelbetter #selfcare #SelfCareSunday #SelfCareHacks

Who would have thought you could feel better if you rethink one little word? I challenge you to ditch should from your life. Let me know how it turns out!

Why You Might Want to Ditch Should

I confess I may be a little bossy. Ok. I have overwhelming bossy tendencies. For the most part, I limit my bossiness to myself. After all, as the second of four children, I had an older sister who did her fair share of bossing me around, and I didn’t always appreciate it. (Love you, Sis!)

I love information and sharing it with people, and I sometimes research the best way to do things. With all that knowledge rolling around in my head, it only makes sense that it would spill out in bossy language. But I didn’t realize until five years ago that I needed to ditch should, my go-to bossy word.

I didn’t even realize just how bossy (both to others and myself) using should sounds. After all, the word has helped me get things done. It urges me to make lists, check things off, set goals, accomplish them, and make positive changes in my life. But should has a darker side. According to Dr. David D. Burns in his book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, we should ditch should from our vocabulary because it makes us feel apathetic and unmotivated. Especially if we already struggle with mood disorders.

I don’t advocate you ditch should for good since it has its uses (especially if you don’t what to sound archaic). But you may want to consider (see what I did there?) thinking about how you use the word and how hearing it may impact the people you love. Listen to today’s podcast and let me know which hack you’ll start with as you journey to ditch should from your life!

Show Notes

Who would have thought you could feel better if you rethink one little word? I challenge you to ditch should from your life. #should #mood #depression #bossymuch #feelbetter #selfcare #SelfCareSunday #SelfCareHacks

Come Back Next Week

I’m so excited about next week’s podcast when I interview Janyre Tromp about her upcoming release of Shadows in the Mind’s Eye. Janyre’s moving novel incorporates all she’s learned about PTSD and the importance of self-care in our journey to healing.

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21 Comments

  1. More proof of the power of words! Those subtle little nuances in the way we speak really do carry huge impacts. I like this idea of ditching “should” in favor of a more motivating and positive word. My one little language change that has made a huge improvement in my mental health is saying “I have Bipolar Disorder” instead of “I am Bipolar.” I am NOT my illness, my illness is merely something I have…and that tiny little change makes a world of difference! Thanks for another insightful post, my friend!

    Shelbee

  2. I have bossy tendencies, myself–toward myself, as you say, and sometimes toward others. I’m better at keeping the “shoulds” to myself, but I’m know they come through in my attitude. I’m great with a sincere and gentle “You may want to consider” when it comes to critiquing a rough draft of a paper, but outside of that, I need a heart check–for myself and others. Thanks for the nudge!

  3. So important – I need to keep an eye on this! I like “But you may want to consider (see what I did there?) thinking about how you use the word and how hearing it may impact the people you love. “

  4. “Should” can definitely be a dangerous word for me. I’ve allowed it to guilt me for not doing things, hold a sense of obligation over me, and yes, I may have even used it to try and motivate our sons (when they were younger) into doing things I thought they should do for one reason or another. I’m learning to not let it get the best of me. 🙂

  5. Great advice. I bristle when someone says “should” or “ought to.” Even when I value their input, I chafe when it’s phrased that way. So I’ve tried to reframe it as “You might want to think about…” or, as you said, “You might want to consider.”
    Barbara Harper recently posted…Dormant SoulsMy Profile

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Anita Ojeda

Anita Ojeda juggles writing with teaching high school English and history. When she's not lurking in odd places looking for rare birds, you can find her camping with her kids, adventuring with her husband or mountain biking with her students.

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