Anita Ojeda 
It’s taken me decades to understand that being kind and gentle gets better results than lashing out in frustration and anger.
This post is part of the Five-Minute Friday quick write hosted by Kate Moutang. Join us each Thursday night on Twitter (#FMFParty) for fun and fellowship, then grab a pen and start writing when the prompt goes live!
Anything But Kind and Gentle
“What are you doing?” I yelled at the little boy as I ran towards him. “Where are your parents? Hasn’t anyone ever taught you not to throw sand?”
He shrugged in reply and stuck his tongue out at me.
My anger flamed higher. For the last six minutes, I’d watched him shove other kids and throw sand at them at the playground. It bothered me to watch the little bully, but when he tossed sand at MY kids, I had to intervene. Especially when I saw my daughters’ faces crumple in confusion at the unmerited attack.
I couldn’t let this little bully ruin my beautiful spring day at the park. So I squatted down at his level and glowered at him. “Do not. Throw. Sand,” I shouted.
He shrugged and walked to a different part of the playground. My sense of righteous indignation wanted to justify my loud voice and harsh words. But a creeping sense of shame clamored in my soul.
I had forgotten my resolutions to use kind and gentle words with others. In yelling and screaming at a defenseless child, I had also set a horrible example for my girls. I realized I had a problem.
What Does Jesus Want?
Jesus wants us to use kind and gentle words and let him take care of the accusations and judgement.
For so many years I had let my sense of outrage take over my good sense whenever I saw a bully in action. But on that spring day, on the eve of Easter, a picture of Jesus flashed before my eyes.
People bullied him. They spit on him, cursed him, called him vile names, and accused him of crimes he didn’t commit. When he spoke, his kind and gentle words held firmness, but not hate or recrimination.
Even when his best friends betrayed him he didn’t yell or scream or shout.
Kind and gentle words don’t come naturally to me in heated situations, but by God’s grace, I’m learning to pray first and speak second. I still mess up at times, but adding the habit of prayer before blurting out my first thoughts has improved my communication skills. And kept me from screaming at small children.
When your tongue threatens to burst into flames, remember Jesus. #fmfparty Click To TweetThe tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
James 3:6 NIV
So convicting and so true!! Jesus was gentle.
Thanks for stopping by, Deirdre!
Anita Ojeda recently posted…Spine-Tingling Suspense for Your TBR List
I so feel you on this! My natural inclination is to speak in abrupt sentences, almost orders, and it’s been a years-long journey to let God soften me. I still snap occasionally, but I can feel the difference in my heart now, and the rewards, especially in my own family, have been so lovely. It’s hard, though! 😅
Ellie Di Julio recently posted…Come let us adore him: an Easter carol
It is hard! I’m so glad with have a gentle, grace-filled Savior to show us the way!
Anita Ojeda recently posted…SCH 045 Six Self-Care Hacks for Picking a Hobby You’ll Love
oh such a good reminder of gentleness as demonstrated by Jesus! Tweeted to encourage others too!
Thank you!
Anita Ojeda recently posted…How Learning to Savor Will Help You Taste and See That the Lord is Good
I used to think fighting was fine
(it’s How The West Was Won),
but now I think it may be time
to holster up my gun,
climb on down from horse’s height,
tie reins unto a tree,
and learn about another Might
that went and died for me
with Hands outstretched to take the binds
that were not really needed,
for He was truly of a mind
that could not be defeated
when gentleness stood strong and straight
to save us from our self-made fate.
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser recently posted…Of Two Worlds
Amen. I alwasy appreciate your humor and poetry!
Anita Ojeda recently posted…Every Christian Needs to Read The Great Sex Rescue
Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to You O Lord my Strength and my Redeemer.
Susan Shipe recently posted…Five Minute Friday: Gentle
That’s my other go-to verse I pray at the start of every day :).
Anita Ojeda recently posted…SCH 045 Six Self-Care Hacks for Picking a Hobby You’ll Love
good reminder that. We can always do better.
Annette recently posted…As Gentle As a Purr
I’ve been working with an individual the past few weeks who is NOT kind and gentle. It’s really tiring. I can’t wait for the task to end so I can get away from the person. It makes me appreciate all the more those who are kind and gentle, and encourages me to continue to aim for that as well. Thanks for this message today, Anita.
Lisa notes recently posted…When Hope Refuses to Stay Down —Grace & Truth Linkup
That’s a great tip that I’m going to try from now on – pray first and speak second.
Wemi Omotosho recently posted…The Gentle Heart of The Servant Saviour
It’s always so hard to be gentle when you feel threatened – and more so when your kids are being bullied.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…The Gentle Art Of Blessing
Well this lands. I have two littles right now, and the struggle to speak softly is *real.* Thank you, Anita!