Anita Ojeda 
The Passing of a Family Friend
I wanted to reach through the phone line and embrace my daughter. Instead, I texted her back and tried to concentrate on reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe to my freshman class.
I kept losing my place and glancing at my phone. Not professional behavior, I know. But when your daughter texts you that her beloved German Shepherd has bladder cancer and the vet sees no hope, you do what needs to be done.
We had prayed for my daughter and Bella before class started, so when I stopped my reading and said, “I apologize my being distracted. Bella’s not going to make it,” my students understood. Many of them knew Bella because she lived with us for a year or two whilst Laura finished college.
They had thrown sticks for Bella, gone on hikes with her, and tried to embrace her. Bella had some innate ratio for accepting human touch. I think it was about 27 stick throws to one pat on the head. Fifty-two stick throws would earn you a casual arm draped over her neck whilst she triple-panted in joy.
Fortunately, Sarah had gone to visit Laura this week—and she will embrace Laura by proxy for the next few days until she leaves. Laura, Louis, Abel, and Sarah spent most of the day at the vet’s with Bella.
Laura watched Bella’s birth and Bella proved a loyal companion and running partner through Laura’s last two years of high school. Louis has known Bella just as long—they considered her their first ‘child.’
Not Just a Dog
Someone made the mistake today of asking why they took time off work to be with Bella. “After all, it’s just a dog,” said the person who must never have enjoyed the embrace of a pet.
Ok, I know. Dogs and cats don’t have arms and can’t embrace like we do. But they provide a non-judgmental, always faithful, often grinning (or purring), warm object that we can talk to without recrimination and embrace at will.
Pets are people, and I’m sticking to my theory. And despite what some lofty theologians may claim, I think our pets will end up in heaven. After all, God is a Father who delights in his children. And isn’t that why we give our kids pets in the first place?
When someone grieves, offer an embrace, not an empty platitude. #fmfparty Click To TweetSo when a friend tells you that their pet has passed on, the proper response should be an embrace. A word of kindness and empathy goes a long way towards helping people through their grief.
Anita, I’m truly sorry to read about the passing of Bella. I can only imagine the hole that leaves in your heart and your days. I’ll pray for you and Pedro and your family this weekend.
Thank you for the reminder that we need to be sensitive to others’ grieving. Rather than dismiss or denigrate the grief over the loss of a beloved pet, we need to share sympathy and kindness.
Thank you, Jeanne! I never really understood other people’s grief over their pets until we had Clancy (Bella’s mom).
Anita recently posted…When it’s OK to Call Your Kids a Friend
Beautiful, Anita. I’m sorry for the passing of your Bella. Dogs have such a closeness in our hearts and they will never be forgotten. Blessings.
Bonnie recently posted…Why Something You Wanted to Change, You End Up Missing
Thank you for your kind words, Bonnie!
Anita recently posted…Why I Hate the King James Version of the Bible
So sorry about Bella! I am all teary now thinking about my own “dogs” and losing one two years ago. She picked out her urn and I paid the extra to have her separately cremated. Her ashes sit in our china cabinet in the dining room. My mom couldn’t believe I was spending that money, but how could I not? She was and IS family. I still talk to her ashes, her urn has her first collar wrapped around it. Maybe I am crazy but there are still plenty of nights where I wake just enough to tell her to move only to realize I am tangled in blankets. My one child says that Dog spells God backwards because they teach us to love like God wants us to!
Marisa recently posted…Jesus Knows
Aww, Marisa, I’m so sorry about your dog. I totally understand about the urn–pets are non-human persons and they leave a huge hole in our lives when they’re gone.
Anita recently posted…Why it’s Important to Encourage the Weak
Losing a pet is so hard. They become members of the family tool I’m so sorry for the loss of Bella. God will comfort you all in your grief. I’m in the 6 spot this week.
Thank you, Tara.
Anita recently posted…The Pre-Trip Inspection Keeps Me Safe in More Ways Than One
I’m so sorry, Anita. And I am certain you will see Bella again; I’ve died and been to Heaven and come back, and remember well my tail-wagging welcoming committee.
And besides, how could God give us the capacity for that kind of received and returned love, without it having a counterpart and fulfillment in His Presence?
#1 at FMF this week.
http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2017/03/your-dying-spouse-288-being-ok-with.html
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser recently posted…Your Dying Spouse 288 – Embracing God’s Will {FMF}
Thank you for your words of wisdom, Andrew! I’m glad I’m not the only one who believes we’ll see our pets in heaven.
Anita recently posted…Ten Tips for Turning Reluctant Readers into Voracious Readers
Sorry to hear about the death of Bella. Although we don’t have pets ourselves, I know exactly what you mean here: my brother and his wife just lost their little miniature schnauzer, Abby (one of two mini-schnauzers they have) to “old age” at 12. I am trying to figure out the best ways to support them as they grieve. You’re right: an embrace and words of kindness are never the wrong thing.
Jeannie (#27 in linkup this week)
Thank you, Jeannie. It’s incredible how pets can become valued family members (maybe because they are so unconditional in their affection–which might be a lesson for all of us!).
Anita Ojeda recently posted…What You don’t Know About Breathing Can Really Hurt You
I AM so sincerely sorry to hear about Bella. I get it – I truly get it. And, thanks for the encouragement you left me in the comment box over at HHH. (((xo))) (some of those hugs are for all who loved Bella)
Susan Shipe recently posted…Five Minute Friday: EMBRACE
Aww, thank you, Susan!
Anita Ojeda recently posted…Help Me Raise Money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s TNT!
Oh yes! Those who have never experienced the loss of a loved one, or beloved pet do not understand. Funny, my 22 year old cat passed away last Friday … I’ve lost so very much in 2 years. I appreciate the embrace in place of the platitudes, but forgive those who only have platitudes because they do not know. They don not understand.
I’m sorry for your family’s loss and will hold you in my prayers. God bless you all.
Andrea, FMF neighbor #57
I’m so sorry for the loss of your cat–it must seem like the final straw in a long series of losses. May the Holy Spirit send you an extra dose of love in this difficult season!
Anita Ojeda recently posted…What You don’t Know About Breathing Can Really Hurt You
I love this so much. What a beautiful tribute to my baby girl. ❤ I have had so many embraces from my dear students today…and from others in the community who understand this pain.
Our family understands completely and is praying for all of you. Pets are family…usually our first children for most of us. I got to hug you both today but wish I could do something to take the pain away. It is so hard. We experienced the loss of oldest fur baby 3 years ago…I was a total mess…for days I’d cry anytime I thought of her or someone mentioned her name. I still think of her all the time and the wonderful memories. You will forever cherish the times with her. Love you and your precious family!
You are fortunate to have such a wonderful community–your students are the sweetest!
Anita Ojeda recently posted…Help Me Raise Money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s TNT!